François Tonetti Hyde
Francois (Francy) Tonetti Hyde, was born on September 19, 1932 at New York City Hospital. He was raised in Snedens Landing, and was the youngest of the three children of Lydia Tonetti Hyde and Bobby Hyde. He is survived by his sisters, Susie Borden Hyde Macy and Angie Hyde Bjorklund as well as his wife Joyce, their daughter Lydia Hyde, Thea, Emery and Darcy Woodall, and his daughter Joanna Hyde Blair. He was preceded in death by his brother Joe Hyde and son, Howard Hyde.
Francy was the grandson of Mary Lawrence and Francois Michele Louis Tonetti – both artists and friends of many great artists including Augustus Saint-Gaudens. In the latter part of his life, he volunteered at the Saint-Gaudens Memorial in New Hampshire. His great grandparents were the Lawrences – one of the first families of Snedens. His mother died when the children were young, his father having left to start a new family in Santa Barbara California, so his “Granny” Tonetti (Mary) took charge of the children with the help of James, her butler. (You NEED to know about James to know Francy!)
…I guess you always have to start an obituary or notice of death with those kinds of facts to give people a frame of reference….but it doesn’t speak to the magic of who they were in life and the star they must have become in heaven when they died. So here is what I know – and I hope it will give you, dear reader, a glimpse into the history and passing of the OLD Snedens Landing – a wonderful place that he was such a dear, sweet and vital part of during his life.
My first memory of Uncle Francy (I am the daughter of his brother, Joe Hyde) was visiting him with his first wife Elizabeth Walden and their two children Joanna and Howard. Joanna was a little bit younger than me and Howard was a little bit younger than my brother Phil so we used to play a lot together. They lived in one of the stone houses on Woods Road that was built by my grandfather Bobby and grandmother Lydia– and it was where Uncle Francy was raised with his sisters, Angie and Susie, and my father Joe.
Anyway, back in the early days he would take his young children away for long periods of time – I remember when they went to Kenya for a few years – because of his work with the Farrell lines, a shipping company. He would always come home with fantastic pictures and more stories … and presents! Later, when he married Joyce we used to drive up to his farm in upstate NY. He would always keep us occupied – singing, telling jokes and stories. He was magical and loving, warm and jovial…I don’t think I can remember a time where he was sad or angry.
His stories were gentle and funny – I got him to write a few down for me when Dad died and I think you would enjoy knowing him thru his memories as a child.
It seemed Mama was always short of money. (She and Bobby had been divorced). One day I saw her crying as she said she had only $64 left in the bank. From my point of view as a hungry ten year-old, we seemed to have enough to eat. By the force of circumstances, the children, especially Joe often seemed to be cooking, to help out.
It amazes me to think that under the pressures of Palisades, Mama had the energy to take us all to the Vineyard every summer, where we stayed in the “camp.” We sort of lived off the land on the Island, eating fish, clams, blueberries and beach plum jam. Mama was able to get a “C” ration sticker for gas. She told the Board her livelihood depended on being able to deliver jams and jellies which she made at home and sold, which was true.
During WWII the houses (Lydia had inherited a number of homes in Snedens) were rented to officers who were based at Camp Shanks in Orangeburg. It was the Army camp used for troops embarking at Piermont Pier on ships destined for the War in Europe. Mama entertained the officers and would send them cocktails through the woods. Joe was the bartender and would give me the glasses to deliver, one by one on the paths to the Tree House or the Thatched Roof House. Manhattans were the most popular cocktails.
When one is called the baby of the family, and is the youngest of four children, it is common for one to feel picked upon and at the bottom of the heap. Joe must have learned at an early age that you have to fight for everything you want. When we were living on Woods Road or at the Vineyard I don’t recall fighting as much with Joe as we did at the Pirate’s Lair. During one party Granny gave, while we and the guests were seated at the dining room table, I threw a knife across the table at Joe who was probably teasing me. As the fights broke out, we would usually end up on the floor with Joe on top making me say “I give up.” I often competed with Joe who teased me. Susie B. or Angy would have to break it up. More than once I was locked in a dark closet under the stairs to “cool off.” It wasn’t always Joe’s fault, because farting at the table wasn’t allowed. We were a problem for Mama to cope with and later on for Annette to deal with. When Joe went away to Millbrook it was less tense at home.
What defines a true “Snedenite”? I suppose a love of the cliffs, the views, the greenery, the gardens, the challenges of nature, not to mention the wildlife, the smell of the country and most important, a love of life itself.
The men the Tonetti daughters married and brought to Sneden’s loved it and left their contributions and accomplishments to make it live on. Those men are Jack Ratcliff, Bobby Hyde and Eric Gugler, and never forgotten are Susie Tonetti, Joe Tonetti, Alex and Harwood White, and of course Joe Hyde.
And of course, now, Francois Tonetti Hyde. Rest in peace…and may angels enjoy the comfort and humor of your sweet soul.